Posts Tagged ‘Sexual Psychology’

Diary of a Dominatrix #34: The Roots of Our Kinks, Part II

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Major changes are underway in the relationship between Mistress Roulette and Mister P that are revealed in this episode. The most Earth shattering revelation is that Mistress Roulette now has Mister P’s consent to have sexual intercourse outside of their relationship. Our kinky duo talk about their reasons for why they have reached this unconventional decision, what it is that they both hope to gain from it, how their kinky sex lives have helped them to uncover and deal with past psychological trauma, and how they have grown so closely together that they simply can’t imagine their lives without each other.

There’s a lot of love her, but a fair amount of interesting sex in Diary of a Dominatrix #34: The Roots of Our Kinks, Part II

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Let’s Talk About Sex (Part I)

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Sex.

Man. The power it holds over us human beings is pretty phenomenal, isn’t it? While it has a greater physical impact upon men, it has an equally emotional one on the fairer sex (and, of course, some men as well). So the intensity, and the need, is quite equivalent, but expressed very differently — and with enough overlap to create the dance between the sexes we all know well. The truth is, there’s a lot of research that says we’re basically serial monogamists as a species; while some of us can certainly hack forever, we may not be expected to do so consistently.

And, yep, that means just what you think it does: when she’d rather read, and you’d like to … erm, ‘make use’ of your own ‘reading material’ — it doesn’t mean the honeymoon’s over completely and eternally — but the infatuation is. While it’s a rather sad thing to mourn, and I’m happier in general knowing that my fiance’s orgasms are under my control, these blips on the sex-dar are pretty normal — and very human.

Once you’ve come to accept that, what the hell do you do? It’s tricky, honestly, because what I’m about to tell you proves a real test for most couples, and explains a good portion of the rising divorce rate over the last 30 years. When both partners decide against ‘forcing’ the sexual chemistry back into their relationship, they tend to ‘let each other be’ — sometimes entering a no-sex spiral that lasts for months. Or years. What began, ‘Not tonight, honey. I really want / need / have to X, Y, or Z,’ became a lower expectation of sexual interest, which then became a decreased need, and the forming of a habit and entirely different dimension of the prior sexual relationship. This is typically how, and why, couples that were once engaging in a healthy, active sexual relationship have managed to dry up and go celibate for years.

So, what the fuck happened? A number of things. Habits are tough to break, and a respite does not equal a permanent sexual lull. There are a lot of dependent factors, but also some ways to avoid the major pitfalls — if you know what to look for and have genuine compatibility.

Hmm. Speaking of lulls and genuine compatibility, my fiance’s getting home soon. While I feel this is no doubt a very important post to be making, I think it’ll have to wait.

Keep your eyes peeled. And in the meanwhile, ask questions. You know I love those.

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Elise Sutton: ‘Freudian’ Femdom Fraud

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Elise Sutton's Femdom Experience CoverJesus. This bitch can’t tell her id from her death instinct, and her website clearly needs to be put out of its misery. But let’s begin at the beginning, shall we?

So, here I am, wandering the web minding my own beeswax, when — lo and behold — I find yet another site on Female Supremacy. (Always in caps, mind. Forget proper sentence construction or grammatical correctness.) Fantastic. As if Mystressworld.com wasn’t enough of a blight on the whole of femdom, (plenty more on the madness of Mystress to come), now I’ve discovered Elise Sutton — who, evidently, has been around for a hell of a lot longer than a quack like her ever needed to be. Not to mention her ‘Psychoanalysis of the Submissive Male’ is inherently flawed on the basis alone of containing absolutely no psychoanalysis whatsoever. Can you do that? Write a piece about violins and title it: ‘A Theory of Baseball’? I was under the impression that it was faulty — not to mention just flat dumb. Of course, anyone with an actual degree in Psychology, (yours truly) can tell after 5 agonising seconds on this wacko’s website that this woman wouldn’t know an unconditioned stimulus if it bit her in her female supremacist ass.

For those of you who have not studied in the field of Psychology, psychoanalysis is very specific to the theories and practises first introduced by Freud — who very heavily believed in male supremacy based off of biology alone. Oh, I’m all for turning a field on its head and flipping it about. But you first have to have some idea of what you’re seeking to challenge. You want to break psychodynamic theory? Okay, then first, you need to learn it. Which, clearly, this cuckoo hasn’t.

This is not a difficult concept to grasp. (more…)

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