Like anything, BDSM has its own terminology, and as such, there are many terms for what it is I am: female dominant, domme, and domina seem to top the list. And, while we aren’t the majority, I have met some wonderful fellow dommes, dominas, and fem-dommes. I’ve also seen plenty similarly identifying for which I find the moniker indeed questionable. So, in a concise manner, I’m going to share my thoughts on this marketing phenomenon; perhaps, even concluding with my assumptions for it being the way it is.

While phone sex lines are perennial, phone domination, or ‘phone dommes’ are very much en vogue at current. Does this mean that there’s increased ease of finding a genuine female dominant or professional dominatrix at the end of the line? I remain sceptical. While there’s a good number of us pro-dommes hanging out on such third party services in our off-hours, (I have an account with NiteFlirt), the bulk of the listings are barely legal bottle-blonde with IQs to match their body weight. Hordes of ‘bratty princesses’ with stereotypical head cheerleader dispositions wear slutty clothes in demeaning poses, with market-ready femdom phrases, but deplorable grammar and not a spell-checker in sight. (It’s ‘dominant’, honey, not ‘dominate’. But don’t worry — you aren’t.) It almost seems a joke with how much these photographs have nothing to do with the femdom-centric phrasing.

And a word on age. I’m a young domme, and I’ve got a decade on these girls. (more…)