Diary of a Dominatrix#31: Elements of Femdom

I hope you like it.

It was quite an intense scene, which you can view here if you’d like. Here’s the free Youtube interview.

Strap-On and Tease Video Preview

Here’s what we’re saying:

MR: Is there anything you wanted to talk about before I go get it?

P: Please, can I come if you fuck me?

MR: Please what?

P: Can I come if you fuck me?

MR: Probably not

P: Please

MR: Remember, what I put on the calendar?

P: Yes, but please.

MR: But why would I change it?

P: You know I feel scared.

MR: I do

P: That I feel really vulnerable, and I might feel angry with you. it’s so not fair. Particularly if you come.

MR: And what do I always say?

P: I don’t know?

MR: If you start to get angry. If you start to really feel, distant, and incomplete. We can talk about it, and we can negotiate it. But right now, I think I should fuck you, and tease you. And you shouldn’t come. OK>

P: OK.

Of course, I run into an issue then in my professional life when asked that famous question: ‘What do you enjoy, Mistress?’ What the hell do I enjoy? Are there any activities that are entirely independent of whether or not I’m enjoying them with a particular person, or type of person? There might be, but, considering I choose not to play (seriously) outside of my relationship, I’m much more aware of those that I know I share with my boyfriend only. Strap-on’s a good example. It’s definitely something I love to do — especially for the effects it has upon him and his behaviour — but only with him. Though, oddly enough, I do love to talk about it. Actually, my NiteFlirt callers get that quite a lot. I really get energised through recounting all of the gritty details of our strap-on sexual experiences, which we typically have frequently. Once a week at least, and several times at most. Of course, with a lot of things in flux and schedules being a bit crazy, we haven’t in awhile. But we’ll probably be doing a show of it for fetishchatlive.com, too, which means you’d actually get to see it as it’s happening — hence, the live part. It’s a big hit, actually. If you’d like to know when the next show will be airing so you can see it, just send me an email, or leave a comment. I’ll be happy to let you know.

So, let’s see. There’s always corporal. I’m really quite sadistic, and thus, love caning, paddling, even hand-spanking. I’ve gotten so into it before that my palms were purple-blue and throbbing from the heat of the strikes. It was pretty intense. I’ll definitely hit that point every now and again where I feel as if I’ll just burst into … something … if I don’t do a really, really hard corporal scene. He’s a wonderful sport, too, with how he always takes it for me, even though I know he doesn’t enjoy it. Once I’m out of top-space, I always feel guilty over the knowledge that I really marked him up. He assures me it’s not any big deal, however, and he likes being there for me to whack — often-times, quite literally into submission. That’s love, man. All right, so we can add corporal to the list. It doesn’t at all carry the degree of intimacy as strap-on, or any kind of penetration. And whether or not the recipient of my sadism is clothed is up to me, anyhow.

I’m not sure if I can really get into the whole body worship thing. I receive offers only every other day, and I know it’s low impact, and, truthfully, should be a relaxing sort of thought and activity. Doesn’t require much; just sit, or lie, there, and be adored, massaged, kissed, and caressed. Eh, maybe it’s the intimacy factor once again. I might consider foot worship. That seems acceptable, and is definitely one of the more popular fetishes. (Though, really, I’m not sure if it’s the biggest — as I was recently told by someone. Anyone know if that’s truly the case? It seems that in terms of ‘body part fetish’ that T&A would come before feet — but that’s just my common sense estimation.)

Humiliation and degredation is fine, so long as I know the background of the submissive. If he’s directly drawing from abuse in his life, I’m not going to play ball. This is why I’m also a counselor, and not just a pro-domme. But if it’s a mindful process, and I’m aware of where there may be potential triggers, it can be a cathartic experience — just like the intensity of a corporal or strap-on scene.

Okay, so. As far as I can tell: corporal, humiliation, and degredation. In fact, the latter is big for me when it’s someone with whom I’m less familiar — outside of knowing their background enough to avoid the aforementioned triggers. But I can, again, be quite sadistic, cold, and cruel when I’m in my, I guess, ‘humiliatrix’ (is that really a category these days?) mode.

Good times. I’m sure this list will be expanded over time, but for now … that’s all.