So, in case you hadn’t heard, Nite Flirt is in beta, and I’ve been a Flirt for a good 6 months or so now. New, in comparison, but among the top on the site. Every now and again, I like to scroll through the various listings by other Flirts, laugh at the silly little ‘princess dommes’ and take a few pointers from the more skilled, successful and worthy dominas.

If anything, I’ve always had something of a courtesan fantasy. They were so in control — regardless of era, they had the most powerful men of their time at their feet: lords, dukes, kings, and emperors; CEOs, senators, and presidents. It’s a double-edged sword. There were of course, ladies, duchesses, queenes; wives and first ladies involved, too. The truly skilled courtesan would make her client more beholden to his wife, teaching him how to worship and admire her. In exchange, he would always belong to her, for she was the teacher. The one who taught him how to love, and truly please a woman.

Everybody wins. (more…)

In the immortal words of Deborah Harry — CALL ME!

NiteFlirt, through which I take calls (and clients) is suffering some major downtime due to some snags in switching over the server to a newer technology platform (don’t get me started) but … never fear!

/begin victory

I HAVE FOUND A WAY!

/end victory

If you want to call me, (and you KNOW you do) then …

GO HERE NOW.

All of my listings are there, just take your pick. I’m also REALLY PISSED right now, so if you want to be berated and bitched out, well, you just may get your wish, you lucky, lucky boy.

Stupid NiteFlirt.

I’m done for now. I think …

CALL ME, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

As the great femdom validity experiment continues, (more like meanders underneath everything else, but hey,) more still becomes apparent; in part, a byproduct of our environment. While female-led relationships aren’t quite what one would call common, they are moreso in the kinky subculture. But even still, not 24/7. That was something I specifically wanted to explore as part of the greater experiment as a whole. While it’s ongoing, I have a few findings — which likely won’t be encouraging for some.

In short, total-power-exchange relationships don’t work.

Now anyone who grew up in a female-led household (such as myself) is going to balk at that and remain sceptical. I was, too. But remember, this isn’t just about what’s possible — it’s also about what’s healthy. Regardless of sex or gender, a total power exchange relationship quickly becomes fertile ground for abuse. That understanding lies in the very foundation of what makes one mature versus immature. Most traits and behaviours can be classified according to whether they are synonymous with adult accountability or juvenile dependency. Paradoxically, the stereotypical female dominant expresses more juvenile-dependent traits and behaviours — rivalling those of most children! Self-entitlement, required assistance, no accountability, emotional manipulation to have own way, irresponsibility, recklessness, enablement, ignoring social etiquette, self-centredness, arrogance, refusal to share or compromise, use of others’ resources, and dependent upon another for most things.

It really baffled me. Conceptually, the female dominant is in charge, which allows the male submissive to be youthful, child-like and at her mercy. But in reality, practical application seems to fly in the face of theory and the abstract representation of what femdom should be. Over time, it becomes perplexing — and misleading — as to just what real femdom is — or even should be. If the male subs are the ones doing all of the work, providing a framework in which the domme can even function, then the members of that dynamic are seriously fooling themselves as to which direction the power is flowing.

To further my point, a bit of developmental psychology. And a lot of metaphor. Of course, to avoid it being too dry, there will be pirates. (You like pirates, right? Who doesn’t like pirates?) (more…)

“Hey you, what do you see? Something beautiful, something free? Hey, you, are you trying to be mean?” – Marilyn Manson; ‘The Beautiful People’

–

NiteFlirt is an education. But I don’t have time to relay everything, so here are the Cliff notes.

All of these women with lens-flare tits and sparkle-cunts designed to entice men to engage them in phone sex — usually for large amounts of money, though, not always in the category of Financial Domination. Of course, I receive these calls myself at times, being a psychosexual counselor and dominatrix. It never ceases to fascinate me how much time, effort, and cold, hard-earned cash, these guys are willing to blow on these spoiled brats.

Now, being a writer of transgressional fiction, I’m always challenging normatives and established idealogies. I also avoid the good guys versus bad guys cliche; my protagonists tend to be anti-heroes (and heroines) and reformed villains. My actual villains are never so black and white. All characters are shades of grey. But something stood out to me very quickly throughout my earliest investigations into characterisation:

Sexual attraction has no moral compass. None. Zero, zilcho.

This is largely why it’s tough to distinguish the stereotypical idea of a dominatrix from a fictitious villainness. They’re all voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous, powerful, cruel, and hell-bent on destroying the hero. And, okay, I’m far from a psychoanalyst, (read: neo-Freudian) but if the hero’s hot, and the villainness is hot, those two are definitely going to want to be getting it on. Why? Because that’s just the nature of things. It’s very basic social and interpersonal psychological theory: those who are of acceptable (though, that’s variable) age, desired sex and gender, differing bloodlines, and of relative physical attractiveness (especially if the levels of physical desireability are closely in line; just as you tend to see long-term coupling between those who are about as ‘attractive’ as the other) are highly likely to experience sexual attraction to one another. (more…)

Like anything, BDSM has its own terminology, and as such, there are many terms for what it is I am: female dominant, domme, and domina seem to top the list. And, while we aren’t the majority, I have met some wonderful fellow dommes, dominas, and fem-dommes. I’ve also seen plenty similarly identifying for which I find the moniker indeed questionable. So, in a concise manner, I’m going to share my thoughts on this marketing phenomenon; perhaps, even concluding with my assumptions for it being the way it is.

While phone sex lines are perennial, phone domination, or ‘phone dommes’ are very much en vogue at current. Does this mean that there’s increased ease of finding a genuine female dominant or professional dominatrix at the end of the line? I remain sceptical. While there’s a good number of us pro-dommes hanging out on such third party services in our off-hours, (I have an account with NiteFlirt), the bulk of the listings are barely legal bottle-blonde with IQs to match their body weight. Hordes of ‘bratty princesses’ with stereotypical head cheerleader dispositions wear slutty clothes in demeaning poses, with market-ready femdom phrases, but deplorable grammar and not a spell-checker in sight. (It’s ‘dominant’, honey, not ‘dominate’. But don’t worry — you aren’t.) It almost seems a joke with how much these photographs have nothing to do with the femdom-centric phrasing.

And a word on age. I’m a young domme, and I’ve got a decade on these girls. (more…)

Bah.

I’ve no sessions at the moment, and am abysmally bored. Will no one call me on my NiteFlirt line? I’m in one of those moods today. The beast is unleashed; I want someone to torture and tease. Pick apart his little brain and leave him begging for me to put it back together again.

But only if he’s lucky. And only if he begs me properly.

Are there no takers? Not even for a little while?

Consider it now. Soon, I won’t be asking.