I can’t possibly be the only one who’s noticed that modern BDSM clearly favours the female partner — whether she be submissive or dominant. If in submission, her dominant tends to be loving, doting, and indulgent. Occasionally restrictive, if it seems to be in the submissive’s best interest. She gives over her power, just like the male submissive does, trusting and seeking to build greater intimacy with the dominant. The female submissive is rewarded for her submission, however, whereas it’s expected of the male submissive — especially if you’re dealing with a female supremacist-oriented sort of female domination dynamic. Then the male is practically treated as less than human, expected to serve without reward or gratitude, where the ultimate objective is to break down and subjugate their will. The female submissive is coddled, cherished and adored — the object of desire and affection. The male submissive is a degraded, denied, and defiled — simply regarded as an object. If anything, of contempt, or with no identity or value at all.

What kind of fuckery is this?

For one, it really does support my theory that the majority of dommes are angry feminists who have decided that men must pay — and hey, there’s a whole bunch of them out there that want this kind of abuse, so where’s the problem?

That’s the greater question. Where is the problem?

I’ll tell you one thing; when we attest that human slavery is atrocious in third world countries, but are perfectly accepting of consensual slavery without even examining its roots — Houston, we have a big problem. (more…)

I’ve oftentimes found myself amazed at the popularity of ’24/7′, which has only been strengthened by how many messages I receive on a weekly basis from those ‘slaves’ seeking a 24/7 relationship. Really, what these sadly uneducated (in the ways of BDSM) folks need is the knowledge they’re lacking which would allow them to make better informed decisions. Right now, they’re just blowing with the wind. So, let’s start there — most importantly, let’s start with what a slave is. And incidentally, CollarMe.com hasn’t helped lessen this confusion with their allowing a member to label themselves ‘slave’ without indicating the criteria in which one should label themselves ‘slave’.

I’ll break it down for everyone, to the best of my understanding:

A slave is one who is owned by a master or mistress. Pure and simple. The term of ‘unowned slave‘ emerged, I feel, as a result of confusion on the behalf of a submissive who isn’t quite sure what they are. There are rare instances in which one can be an ‘unowned slave’, but only when they have been disowned for whatever reason. These are then listless, aimless individuals who have been under the guidance and direction of someone for a length of time, and are suddenly cut loose — left to wander, lost, like a pet who’s found itself too far from home, and isn’t sure where they are. That is an unowned slave. Nothing else.

What isn’t a slave? The guy who has been fantasising for the last 10 years about submitting to a dominant woman, goes onto a kinky personals site and labels himself ‘slave’. In fact, he’s not even a submissive. He’s a fetishist. (more…)