EXAMINING THE VALIDITY OF FEMALE-DOMINATED RELATIONAL DYNAMICS:

A Longitudinal Case Study Examining A Heterosexual Female-Dominated Monogamous Relationship for Causal Relationship Between Certain Dominant Behaviours While Monitoring for the Psychological Well-Being of Both Partners

All right, then. I never said it wouldn’t be a mouthful. It’s definitely a working title, not to mention a work in progress. But, continuing on.

OUTLINE OF EXPERIMENT: To determine whether or not a causal relationship exists between certain female-dominant behaviours in a consensual, heterosexual, monogamous relationship and the overall psychological well-being of both the dominant and submissive partners.

HYPOTHESES:

1. While certain dominant behaviours can be very satisfying to a submissive partner, removing the element of consensuality can be psychologically damaging, emotionally abusive, and unethical.
2. The dominant’s legitimate and uncontested control over the sexual relationship can be a liberating and comforting experience, and potentially healing for women who are in abuse recovery themselves, or have reluctance with being the dominant partner regardless of their enjoyment of such experience and activities.
3. Resentment can develop in an otherwise psychologically and power-balanced relationship if the submissive man is too often stripped of his masculinity and his ego intentionally compromised; likewise, if the dominant woman is unable to express and experience her own femininity with her male partner. Moderation is essential for psychological well-being.
4. Any sort of illusory non-consensual activities involving violence, abuse, and anything psychologically damaging to the submissive male partner should be heavily negotiated prior to entrance into the relationship, carefully monitored and extensively controlled by the dominant, with thorough and complete aftercare, even if the illusion is maintained throughout. (more…)

I’ve oftentimes found myself amazed at the popularity of ’24/7′, which has only been strengthened by how many messages I receive on a weekly basis from those ‘slaves’ seeking a 24/7 relationship. Really, what these sadly uneducated (in the ways of BDSM) folks need is the knowledge they’re lacking which would allow them to make better informed decisions. Right now, they’re just blowing with the wind. So, let’s start there — most importantly, let’s start with what a slave is. And incidentally, CollarMe.com hasn’t helped lessen this confusion with their allowing a member to label themselves ‘slave’ without indicating the criteria in which one should label themselves ‘slave’.

I’ll break it down for everyone, to the best of my understanding:

A slave is one who is owned by a master or mistress. Pure and simple. The term of ‘unowned slave‘ emerged, I feel, as a result of confusion on the behalf of a submissive who isn’t quite sure what they are. There are rare instances in which one can be an ‘unowned slave’, but only when they have been disowned for whatever reason. These are then listless, aimless individuals who have been under the guidance and direction of someone for a length of time, and are suddenly cut loose — left to wander, lost, like a pet who’s found itself too far from home, and isn’t sure where they are. That is an unowned slave. Nothing else.

What isn’t a slave? The guy who has been fantasising for the last 10 years about submitting to a dominant woman, goes onto a kinky personals site and labels himself ‘slave’. In fact, he’s not even a submissive. He’s a fetishist. (more…)