As some of you know, I love to sing. Occasionally, I’ll share some of them with my Podcast listeners, but I try to keep that pretty strictly about D/s — or, if someone requests — my artistic projects. (I’ve not forgotten you, Arnaut!)

But every now and again, something comes along that magically incorporates everything. Ladies and gents, Laura Branigan’s 1984 ‘banned-in-Boston’ music video, ‘Self Control’.

Okay, yeah, so, I know what you’re thinking: is that the Phantom of the Opera? Why is he here? And, OH, MY GOD, DID HE JUST … ?

Yes. Yes, he did. (And for you lazy asses who have NO idea what’s going on there, WATCH THE FRICKIN’ VIDEO.)

For those curious, this video actually predates the ALW ‘Phantom of the Opera’ Broadway musical by two years. And, oh, my God, the D/s overtones in this — hell, forget overtones — the D/s in this thing …

I now officially blame this video for my being what I call a submissive fetishist. The fact I used to theatrically perform this song all over the house in which I was born shortly after it started coming on the radio does have me scratching my head, and yet, I did. Practically obsessed with the damned thing. So much so that my mother had to remind me that the dining room table was not a stage. (I was a spirited child.)

But for those of you who’ve seen the video, now we can discuss it. I don’t exactly know what the hell is going on in it, to be honest, but my best whack at understanding yields this: the narrator (played by Branigan), is basically this woman who’s very at home with a dark atmosphere; hence the, ‘living among the creatures of the night’. (Why she ‘[hasn't] got the will to try and fight’, we’ll come to later.) She’s not a damsel in distress, or even remotely girly-girl. She’s a strong-willed woman, who becomes fascinated by this strange Phantom-like guy lurking in the shadows around her and her friends, in their night-life, darker world of dancing and a degree of debauchery. He shows up, and she resists him at first until … 4:00 into the song. (I swear, this image is going to be nightmare fuel for awhile.)

Gah. Just … gah.

So, we can hardly blame Branigan’s ‘OH,MYGOD-WHATTHEFUCK?’ look, when he suddenly grabs her hair and shoves her down onto the couch.

You heard me. (Uhh, read me. Whatever.)

… and from there … yeah. Our Christine-like-figure becomes the self-aware, assured, shadow-integrated narrator we meet at the beginning. (Kind of. Time’s doing some funky things in this video. There’s some definite continuity quibbles.)

(And don’t ask what the heap of blue-faced dead-looking people are doing in the corner watching her, erm, ‘transformation’. I don’t know. Or why they appear to be dead, or just … blue.)

And, as we pan back off the dead-blue-people, we get Branigan in a slightly compromised, (but very relaxed) sprawl upon the floor (but in her robe, tied) as red-handed (is that supposed to be metaphoric for something?) Phantom dude, (fully clothed mind; even in shoes — and masque), walks toward the window and, just before he makes to spread the curtains … disappears. Yup. Poof.

Branigan is left with this sort of dazed look as daylight starts filling the room, before doing this strange almost resigned, and yet … undeniably sensual, sort of move where she picks herself up off of the floor and wanders off to turn off a lamp.

But then we cut to her in bed with him next to her — masque and all. And we end on a doll. That … appears to be winking at us. Kinda.

… The fuck?

Who knows what‘s going on in this video. Except that the imagery makes it very clear.

And, yeah. I used to think that only Mister P was severely altered by something from pop culture at a young age. The oldest I could’ve been when I became obsessed with this song was six.

First fucking grade.

At least this helps a lot of the weirder, fucked-up things about my personality make some sense. Especially certain themes in my writing.

Dear God.

Your thoughts? I know you have to have some. How did this song and video affect you? Did it?

P.S. For shits-and-giggles, the whole reason for this post — and revelation — is the fact that Branigan was the ‘featured artist’ on the karaoke website I frequent, and I chose to do ‘Self Control’. Off-the-cuff, no rehearsing, just for the fun of it.

Tags: bdsm in 80s pop, laura branigan self control